• She's Not Doing So Well

If Armie Hammer Wants To Break My Ribs And Eat Me Alive, All The Power To Him

She's Not Doing So Well - Gay Comedy Podcast

Title :If Armie Hammer Wants To Break My Ribs And Eat Me Alive, All The Power To Him (Thrussy,Circle Jerks, Life, Gay Drama)

Things really heat up this week on She’s Not Doing So Well. Your favorite gays take messiness to the next level and record in a full blackout, leading to unfounded drama and an existential crisis. MIZ realizes he’s more sensitive to criticism than he would like to lead on, Jim advocates for the average lifestyle, and Bobby continues his strive to influence and serve as a resource for members of the LGBTQ+ community. Join us this week for discussions on thrussy, circle jerks, gay drama, crying in bed at night and other attempts to see the comedy in everything.

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Transcript Below:

Unknown Speaker 0:02

Oh, Donna How are you?

Unknown Speaker 0:05

Oh today Alaska, ain't it?

Unknown Speaker 0:08

Oh my god.

Unknown Speaker 0:10

No, I didn't give me

Unknown Speaker 0:14

your paperwork.

Unknown Speaker 0:19

I'm just playing.

Unknown Speaker 0:20

Okay. Today your last day. Give me a badge.

Unknown Speaker 0:26

Thank you.

Unknown Speaker 0:28

All right. J now baby J is for present dance. You ain't the president no mo we got your escalate outside.

Unknown Speaker 0:38

Let me get your checks. Your last check this everything we owe you hurry up and gashing Now before you go to prison, I mean a Pensacola.

Unknown Speaker 0:52

Hold on Lee that jacket. That's a presidential jacket. You're not the president normally that jacket.

Unknown Speaker 1:00

Alright, millennia, or millennia? millennia? Got it. No matter what today your last day. Y'all probably look sad.

Unknown Speaker 1:10

Oh, yeah. You always look like that. You right? Okay. Anyway, girl. This is where your badge your badge?

Unknown Speaker 1:17

DANA Vega you want? Because you wouldn't ever here.

Unknown Speaker 1:21

Girl Give me your paperwork. Give me your paperwork.

Unknown Speaker 1:25

Yeah, get get your paperwork. Yeah. Girl this ad. This is Michelle Obama's paperwork. This is not your paperwork. Where's your paperwork? Yeah, where's that?

Bobby 1:39

Welcome. She's Not Doing So Well. Comedy podcast featuring Bobby. I don't want to be viral. I want to be inspirational and life changing? Because Listen, I'm at GE gym at the top.

Jim 1:55

What can I say? Finally he's just like, you can unfollow me if you don't like my body.

The Miz 2:01

Oh my god. Tell me all about it. You're right, but you like it. Mushroom shape.

Unknown Speaker 2:16

Well, hello, everybody.

Bobby 2:17

Welcome to another episode of She's Not Doing So. Well. I'm Bobby.

Jim 2:20

I'm Jim.

The Miz 2:21

I'm the man's

Bobby 2:22

and we are here again on another Wednesday for you. Hi. Are we really there for them every Wednesday? I mean, yeah, God feels like a Wednesday. It feels like Inauguration Day.

Jim 2:36

Happy Inauguration Day. No one's allowed on the National Mall. I can't wait to see who sets up a bomb and a capital. I mean, we all know

The Miz 2:48

thing a good thing Jennifer Lopez will be lip synching of the inauguration. Wow. Wow. I mean, I can't

Jim 2:55

remember when she climbed like a pole. What was the other stripper movie Dr. Dow. Now and the football game, the game

Bobby 3:06

and the Super Bowl. Super Bowl Super Bowl. The football game. God you're so gay.

Jim 3:12


The Miz 3:15

like Bali game.

Bobby 3:16

It's like you have a ball.

Jim 3:18

Man with the big muscles in the tight jocks come out,

Bobby 3:21

you know when the shower

The Miz 3:25

didn't form

Jim 3:26

back performance. And she climbed a pole and my mom was like, I can't believe they play this on the national TV. It's like wow, some

Bobby 3:36

cry hate the hip hop in the rap.

The Miz 3:41

My Christian values. Oh, honey,

Bobby 3:44

I went off today on my own on a Word doc. And I

Jim 3:47

read it out loud actually was good. Yeah. Well, well, it's a lot.

The Miz 3:52

It's a lot to do a live reading.

Bobby 3:54

No, I don't really read what. I don't really read write.

Jim 4:01

Read Well, I don't write.

Unknown Speaker 4:08


The Miz 4:09

READ WRITE. Wow. One verb.

Jim 4:13

Guy, honey. Oh, honey.

Bobby 4:17

I am in trouble this week. Jim was in trouble last week. I was but I love it.

Jim 4:23

I remember last week.

Bobby 4:24

Well, everybody else does. Thank you. I'm

Jim 4:27

getting fired. Oh no.

The Miz 4:30

No, it's okay. We can all be messy slots because apparently that's what we are.

Bobby 4:34

Yeah, apparently we are because we've gotten some feedback Jim.

The Miz 4:38

I've heard that's a verbally transmitted feedback. Oh.

Bobby 4:44

Oh, this is coming for a throat

Jim 4:47

I knew what this faces Yeah, this

Bobby 4:49

is the attitude right.

Jim 4:51

Like the B attitude girl got a full glass of Pino and she's not we're like

Bobby 4:58

what's wrong Ms. Nothing Nothing. Okay, and then all of a sudden, we start drawing a little Wow.

Jim 5:04

And this week on miserable with me as we have them is here's the thing.

Bobby 5:08

I want we going there. Yeah,

Jim 5:09

we're going there.

Bobby 5:10

Like we have to just I feel like I want to fight on our show. I really do

Jim 5:14

a family feud. I'm

Bobby 5:15

afraid of the fight though, cuz I feel like it might get really ugly.

The Miz 5:18

I mean, it can't really get much uglier than what I've seen.

Unknown Speaker 5:25

Oh my god.

The Miz 5:25

Yeah, honestly, though, I've been thinking a lot about like people saying canceled, and the fact that people need to like, censor what they say because they're afraid of being canceled. And I'm like, that's like me saying I'm afraid of getting my period without a vagina. Like unless you're influential or relevant at all. You can't be fucking canceled. Eggs. Oh, my.

Bobby 5:50

I don't know what button to press it. Yeah, like that's a button pushed. I didn't know which one.

Unknown Speaker 5:57

You're right.

The Miz 5:58

So for that reason, I'm not afraid of being canceled cuz I'm nobody. No one's gonna cancel me. You can't be canceled on

Bobby 6:04

me. You have to be relevant. We can't have

The Miz 6:06

a platform be relevant. None of which I have I can have which a lot of people have so they should stop fucking saying I like can't do that because I am living up to some standard and no one else holds me to you delusional fuck. Okay. You know, I

Bobby 6:21

just I felt the tension. We came in the race. I

Jim 6:24

was well, I knew something was up. I was like, he's not feeling his oats today. Something's wrong. Well,

Bobby 6:30

we all we did delay

The Miz 6:32

before dealing my Oh,

Bobby 6:34

tell us talk to us.

The Miz 6:38

I feel like I just got off my chest. Okay, well, that's not it, though.

Jim 6:41

Because there's something else. But I'll tell you what it is. What is it, Jim? It's something about you. And your attitude. Be attitudes.

The Miz 6:53

And what would that something be

Jim 6:55

towards suicide? Oh, yep. She went there. Wow. Jim

Bobby 7:01

is like Yeah. What

The Miz 7:03

are you alleging?

Unknown Speaker 7:05


Jim 7:05

we're alleging you're a little Cavalier.

Bobby 7:08

You're does the best way I've ever heard my life.

The Miz 7:11

Okay. Yeah.

Jim 7:13

The Cleveland Cavaliers.

Bobby 7:14

Okay, so without, explain to the people why, why are you Cavalier? Like, why are you so aloof about suicide? Is it a coping mechanism?

The Miz 7:27

I don't really find it that subject like i think that i don't really understand why people view it as such a oh my god off limits topic. Like it's actually a selfish reasons that happens, like, and I mean, I know I've had friends that have done it. So for me like being able to laugh about it, because I know that's what they would have done then I don't really feel that remorseful about joking about it.

Bobby 7:56

I like that because honestly, that's one of our like, mantras of the show is let's make uncomfortable situations comfortable by laughing about it. Right? Or like talking shit about it, like making fun of something that is really like wait, for example, or you know, so I can't really talk about my looks I'm too hot for that. But

Jim 8:15

like if you're ugly like me, and you just feel if you have to hide your face, like

The Miz 8:20

you can talk about suicide is everyone thinks that like they're the only people who are sensitive to it. And they're like, Oh my god, well, I've almost done it and then it's like, okay, yeah, so have literally so many fucking people and you don't know that you don't know that so you know? Yeah, I don't really understand where people like get off formulating an opinion about my discussion about the topic.

Jim 8:46

But no, I mean, but you're gonna get it anyways because when you bring it up the police the PC police are coming for you.

Bobby 8:55

Come for me. The funny thing about it is actually may kill yours. There's no no I really hope you don't I really don't

Jim 9:02

know that you yet.

The Miz 9:04

Not tonight.

Bobby 9:06

Well, I don't think you ever should. I think you have a lot to offer it and I feel like I've I think I believe in you more than you believe in yourself.

The Miz 9:13

Yes, yes. Lots. Lots offer.

Jim 9:16

Oh, me. I think you have a lot to offer you up here. Looks

Bobby 9:24

really good. shoulders. Go

The Miz 9:25

on. Go on.

Jim 9:26

Did you get broken up with today? like something's off?

The Miz 9:29

Never been in the relationship.

Bobby 9:31

You may have been. I think you need one.

Jim 9:32

I think you need a new one. I could come to New York for you.

The Miz 9:37

And do why

Jim 9:37

and only eight and a half hours. Um, I like plants.

Bobby 9:42

He's your wife.

The Miz 9:44

Okay, that's it. You'll sit here and come miseries

Bobby 9:46

every and build. Why do you think he's gonna drop everything for you?

Jim 9:49

First of all, a be huka like, why do you think I wouldn't sit there and commiserate with you?

Unknown Speaker 9:56

Alright, creaky?

Jim 9:59

See, I've seen that mouth on film like yes, I want to

The Miz 10:03

crickey you can come Okay, Chris. Chris Rock sucked. We don't crickey you Jimmy.

Jim 10:10

Honey, it's completely Crikey it's not gonna cookie

Unknown Speaker 10:13

you average cricket.

Jim 10:15

Oh, this little cricket. That little con. Oh,

Unknown Speaker 10:18

my cricket Jiminy Cricket.

Jim 10:21

Do you want to visit I just want to like be in your bed?

Bobby 10:23

No like you already have more fans than us true. We've been doing this for I don't think that's no seriously people writing go I Love New fans in Peru like you are new or trending in Peru.

Unknown Speaker 10:35

Right. Right, right, right. Right.

Bobby 10:36

All right. Well, I got something.

Unknown Speaker 10:39

What do you got to say?

Bobby 10:41

I've been writing down some things. So you know, there's policy

Jim 10:46

You know, there's policy.

The Miz 10:50

Rudolph the Red Nosed marine.

Bobby 10:54

Policy and

Jim 10:58

penises. What are nipples?

Bobby 11:00

It's pussy Busey. And what's the other one? Cause a new one. There's a new see.

Unknown Speaker 11:07

A way

Bobby 11:08

to see clothes. What is it? a threat See? Like this? Fuck my throat see my throat pissy.

Jim 11:18

So I learned her. So hit.

Bobby 11:20

I'm like with the Gen Z. Or Gen Z.

The Miz 11:22

I'm the Gen Z reporter lingo.

Unknown Speaker 11:25

Miss Gen Z.

Jim 11:26

He's borderline are you? Well, yes.

Bobby 11:31

borderline to know you're still you're a millennial borderline, but you're on the you're on the cusp of BPD BPD. I know about bt. BTP a tape I guess I

The Miz 11:42

should say 1997 and 2012? Yeah, no, no.

Jim 11:46

So you're not you're wanting to well,

Bobby 11:49


The Miz 11:50

2012. Flash 2015 2012 when I came out as a sophomore in college,

Bobby 11:57

did you go to college with a OC? Or college with AMC? Yeah. I saw that. She went to your college. Like the same age? Yeah. No, but I'm just saying you kind of like cross paths.

The Miz 12:10

Yeah. probably saw on campus and like, who's this

Bobby 12:12

guy who's this? Like, she's at the gay bar like cutting in line. You're like, you bitch, and she's like, I'm gonna stay one day. No, she's like a big deal. Now she like Actually, I love her. She could be on the show. She would speak

The Miz 12:23

her mind her eye. She's, I love her. She's

Bobby 12:25

making more waves. Like when she makes a comment. Even fox news will go. Oh, god, she's commenting on Biden's plan. And it's like,

The Miz 12:33

everybody's obsessed with her is that she speaks with such conviction. I don't write. You're not trying to what she's saying. But I'm like, Okay, yeah, yeah.

Bobby 12:44

You're gonna fucking consider

The Miz 12:44

it with such conviction and confidence. I

Jim 12:47

love it. Bobby. she's a she's a real wedding. Like you see, and he's sweating.

The Miz 12:52

She's hot as hell. Like I can go straight for your pitch or shaved

Bobby 12:55

mine. Yeah, they're actually not I don't have a lot of hair shaved. No, I don't have a lot of hair in my armpits.

Jim 13:00

I don't know. It's like complete. No, they're not. You

Unknown Speaker 13:05

know, like, Harry.

Jim 13:06

Yeah, mine.

Bobby 13:08

Like really?

Jim 13:11

He looks like preteen

Unknown Speaker 13:13


Jim 13:15

Grade right? So

Bobby 13:16

you think it'd be like a bear but Honey? Honey misled. Oh, and I have no hair my asshole.

Jim 13:21

Oh, that's cuz you lasered it? That's

Bobby 13:22

not I didn't have a lot before that.

Unknown Speaker 13:24

Wait, you lasers your asshole. Yeah, I

Bobby 13:26

got my my asshole laser. I had a surgery like a couple years ago for assist. It's not it's a problem. But you have a boil. Should I talk about it?

Jim 13:35

Maybe I shouldn't talk about it. Because everyone has said there

Bobby 13:38

might be something somebody might be relating. It's called a pilonidal cyst. And it's at the top of your butt crack near like your tailbone kinda. Yeah. And it starts as a cyst. But really, it's an abscess and it never goes away unless you get it literally cut out

Jim 13:50

like he has a third hole.

Bobby 13:52

I don't.

Jim 13:54

He does.

Bobby 13:56

Michael Pachter So Michael had to pack my wound every day back in the hole, penis Hole by asshole

The Miz 14:01

pile and I wasn't counting the penis hole. I

Bobby 14:03

really wasn't either,

Jim 14:04

though. You can stick things in the pain.

The Miz 14:06

I didn't really that wasn't a point of entry for you.

Jim 14:08

Well, it is to be of a sounding rod.

Bobby 14:10

So I had a cyst. And so basically the it starts with like an ingrown hair. But I don't have that many hair. But my hair is very thick. Like it's not early. It can start with like an ingrown hair. So they're like we recommend you either like shaved on the regular or get like a permanent solution. So I was like, I'll get my asshole lasered.

The Miz 14:25

Did you get a bleach to it?

Bobby 14:27

That's next.

The Miz 14:28

That's next. I used this I shaved my asshole all the time. Except one guy who lived in wash heights. I used to sleep with requested that I do not shave it.

Bobby 14:36

Are you Harry?

The Miz 14:38

Oh, yeah,

Jim 14:39

yeah, my whole is covered right now.

The Miz 14:40

Oh, yeah. I'm like really hairy. Like,

Jim 14:43

Oh, yes. Oh my god. That's like me. Oh, I love it.

Bobby 14:46

You're heavier than me. That's what's a funny fucking, but I'm a bear.

The Miz 14:50

I'm really quick. You're my size

Jim 14:53

twink by hair.

Unknown Speaker 14:55

So, Your Honor, Your Honor.

Jim 14:57

He's an honor to be an honor.

Bobby 14:59

I gotta get skinny. No, yeah, I'm not even in the I'm not even the hairy class. I'm in the big class. I'm a job.

Jim 15:05

He's like one of those cats that doesn't have any hair on it. Yeah,

Bobby 15:07

what is I was trying to think of that.

The Miz 15:08

Like, hairless cat. I'm

Bobby 15:10

a hairless bear.

Jim 15:12

Oh, wait, no, no, David. I came up with this. He's a manatee. Remember this?

The Miz 15:17

So you're like, almost extinct.

Bobby 15:19

So I literally just float around and people carved Trump into my back. Cool.

Jim 15:24

Cuz you're healthy

The Miz 15:26

and healthy. Or you know, you're about to be

Bobby 15:29

a twink so it's fine. I'm literally getting so sorry.

The Miz 15:34

I honestly feel like the shirts look more or more baggy

Bobby 15:36

and they are there. It's legit happening. That actually weighed myself. I think I told you this last night and I know I weighed myself with shoes on. No. And from the last time I weighed to like with my shoes on at night. I never weigh at night. I was like seven pounds down from morning way.

The Miz 15:54

I'm ready. Okay, that's amazing. I'm so proud of that. But you know, it's not about the scale.

Bobby 15:58

No, not at all. And we've already established that.

Jim 16:01

Let me just let me say I hope it's not about the looks either cuz for me.

Bobby 16:06

I mean, honestly, again, I don't want to go either way, but my face has always been the hottest feature. It's true. It's true. These eyes will fuck anybody these lashes these lashes right here.

Jim 16:17

If you know, you know,

The Miz 16:18

I could gain 20 pounds. And if I look better, am I

Bobby 16:21

right? Literally?

The Miz 16:22

What the fuck do I care about number seven a scale

Jim 16:26

like this.

Bobby 16:27

So back to what I was actually saying is your threat. See? Right here we go all the way around. I

The Miz 16:33

have no idea

Bobby 16:35

where we land and gay. I have one more thing I want to say. Before we continue on this journey. I just want to read this. Okay, and I want you to tell me if it's where it's from. It's a movie. Okay? You just live to obey me and be my slave. I will own you. That's my soul. My brain my spirit. My body. Twilight, would you come and be my property till you die? I need to drink your blood. I crave it. I need to eat your entire body. I need to touch every part of you inside and out. I want to bite pieces of you.

The Miz 17:08

Are these texts from armie hammer army hammer hammer.

Bobby 17:14

The best one to me is this next one I want to break.

The Miz 17:19

I was waiting for that one.

Bobby 17:21

I want to take a bite out of you

The Miz 17:22

as armie hammer.

Bobby 17:26

I let him suck his toes. Do you remember that? Well, I don't care. Oh, let's grow. So he's like, my toes. And now he's like I'm eating women.

The Miz 17:34

I'm sorry, but he could walk down my hall. If armie hammer wants to break my ribs and eat me alive. All the power to him. And honestly, that'd

Bobby 17:43

be a win win for all of us. Go ahead. You're gonna murder me. I'm gonna get out of this. I'm gonna get out of this guilt free.

The Miz 17:51

Right and people can tell me I'm committing suicide. I can just get eaten alive.

Bobby 17:56

I love this. I can't wait to the day that we're in New York City or we're in Columbus and Michigan's gonna fight and I have to break it up. I can't wait. It's gonna happen it's gonna happen he's like a house where like I'm like, bitch.

The Miz 18:07

I'm usually very very

Bobby 18:08

see but that's the thing but when you're with me, you won't be scared

The Miz 18:12

I don't get in fight like I will never pick a fight.

Bobby 18:15

I will just respond to you let your face say your words.

The Miz 18:19

No, I just I generally don't give a fuck about anyone. But when people take shots then it's different. That's a sneaky way.

Bobby 18:29

Sneaky sneaky. This episode is full of little like,

The Miz 18:34

like if you're trying to hide something that says it all right. You can't put it in text then. Oh,

Jim 18:43

could you see what we're talking about now? Oh, do

Bobby 18:46

you huh? My throat is throbbing

Jim 18:49

I'm literally throbbing my throat he is Oh my god. So he's way is he?

Unknown Speaker 19:05

It's not me.

The Miz 19:06

No, it's both of us. That the slides apparently.

Bobby 19:11

This is where me and Ms jump in and explain what's going on a little. This is like a PSA like,

The Miz 19:16

literally a PSA Surgeon General's warning.

Bobby 19:19

Yeah, like this episode is like, so do you want to like paint the picture for

The Miz 19:25

a picture? I'll paint the picture the picture.

Bobby 19:29

This picture is definitely like a Picasso. It was supposed to be the Mona Lisa but ended up

The Miz 19:34

causing the style. We were going for Mona Lisa. We ended up like elementary school fingerpaint like bad bad news. So we were planning to have a recording as usual. And the last time we recorded a little tipsy and it was a major success. We loved it. We wanted to keep that

Bobby 19:56

going. And we're just tipsy like we weren't right here.

The Miz 20:00

lockout, the operative word Ipsy. So then this weekend, we're like, Okay, let's do it again. And we just no load up on booze and get together. And it was a disaster.

Bobby 20:13

Well, and we didn't eat until late. And then we were already drinking like crazy. And we're like, Can we push the recording back in is like, yeah, it's fine. So we went from eight o'clock to 930. Right? That's an hour and a half more of alcohol.

The Miz 20:25

Those 90 minutes. We're catering to those 90 minutes or I spent on the couch watching housewives down in Pino.

Bobby 20:33

So I mean, chugging,

The Miz 20:34

it was a recipe for disaster because I was just like, filled with drama from housewives and Pino so I was just ready to come in hot.

Bobby 20:43

And you came in hot, like, there was no doubt about it, like you came in, like, ready to go. And you were kind of like, Hey, this is and you're like, so I think it's really fun. So do you want to tell the story of why Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 20:54


Bobby 20:55

I tell us your perspective before, like, in a sober way, and then I'm gonna try to like clip it together.

The Miz 21:00

Okay. So my perspective was the following. I didn't it's not a big deal. Nothing about this is a big deal. Let me preface it with that. I knew that there were certain feedback had been received about the show negatively towards me. And that's okay, that's bound to happen. That's what happens when you put yourself out on a public platform, right? Fine, whatever. So I never really I never really thought it was that big of a deal. The subject had come up earlier that day, somehow, in our in a text between the three of us, right? And I was like, aha, bah, bah, bah. Then Then as I'm watching housewives and downing Beto, I'm like, I would like love to actually see like, verbatim what's been said. And so it's like, I'm wonder where I can find it. And I was like, Oh, shit, like, I, I have the login for this thing. And so I logged in. And then it wasn't really what was said that shocked me it was the medium through which it was said, which was a direct voice recording. So it it looks not one voice recording submitted by someone to you guys as feedback, but like a discussion back and forth, right? And so various little like sound waves that I then had to click on and listen to. And I've never, I've never seen anything like that. I had never I'd never had this happen to me before. So I was all sorts of shuck. And I think it's two things like one I just was not expecting that. So I just like kind of like had a more heightened reaction than I normally would have. I was just like, and I was doubting Pino watching housewives, right,

Bobby 22:47

your blood boiling and then you're like,

The Miz 22:51

right. So I'm like, in my mind, someone had just like, like, stolen $500,000 for a bank account, like, you know, like, that's like, what, like, what, Barack and I like to come in here with like a machete like I was just out of control. Yeah. And the number two, I'm just like, and what I realized for myself is I'm just like, really sensitive, which is weird, because I try to put on the front like, I'm not right, but I'm, like, really sensitive to criticism. And especially, especially, especially sensitive to criticism, when like, I'm the newer one, right? This brain production sounds like our shit like,

Bobby 23:32

and that's where I get interesting. And like, we're trying like, this is new, like, this is new territory, right? Like, She's Not Doing So Well. Like you kept saying in the drunken you're like, it's you too. And then I'm just like a fun chariot. I'm like, No, like, going forward. This is like a, we need to just it's a solid new start. Yeah, some people are gonna love it that used to listen to the show, and some people are gonna fucking hate it and to be honest with you, right? I don't care. Exactly right. And I can't care and it's not that I don't care about you, or your feelings or whatever. But like, I've got to do me right you got to do us exactly.

The Miz 24:04

I think message to myself I need to like, stop being a little bitch like so. Do you? Think about what I would do stand up people wouldn't laugh at some stuff. I bet in their mind thinking wow, this kid sucks. While fuck him. I just never heard directly. So I was like, I don't care what people think. then fast forward when there's dmws of literal voices saying how or I am it's just a little different.

Bobby 24:31

And let's get back to the trunk episode, where after this segment we have a whole explanation for like 10 minutes at the end so thank you for listening. Oh, guess what time it is it

The Miz 24:43

the more you know

Jim 24:46

Am I supposed to have a fucking topic? The more you know with Jim

Bobby 24:57

I can't wait to hear the more you know this week because guess what you will Often, people will have commented on how they're like that motherfucker went off to him. I didn't know so much about the First Amendment.

The Miz 25:08

That was so much.

Jim 25:11

I'm glad that just sharing the basics of the First Amendment,

Bobby 25:14

or you know, rarely so famous.

The Miz 25:17

Wow, the more you know, it's been around for hundreds of years. You're chock full of knowledge just drop something on us He is just bring

Jim 25:25

up any word or thing and I'll think of a

The Miz 25:28

thing you know, I can

Jim 25:32

ask about like something interesting.

Bobby 25:34

Like, what's the worst thing that you wrote this week thing?

The Miz 25:37

You know, so much I

Bobby 25:39

want to hear you do? Okay, I got something. Okay.

Jim 25:43

I got something like a real question you want answered and you've never asked. I don't

Bobby 25:47

know if you even know anything about it. The pyramids in Antarctica.

The Miz 25:53

I think this topics not gonna go well on this program.

Jim 26:00

Someone has been reading their dad's text message. queue and on. I don't think there are any pyramids in Antarctica. Maybe

Bobby 26:10

Mr. Just interview you right now. Furthermore, you know,

The Miz 26:14

okay, Jim. There's been a lot of chatter lately about Joe Biden in his transition. And what it means for the Equality Act that he promised would be passed in the first 100 days. And apparently, on January 5 14. They said to a group of LGBTQ plus leaders, that that's no longer going to happen. What is your take?

Jim 26:45

Oh, Lord. So what is the Equality Act?

Bobby 26:49

It's Oh, wow. You don't know what that is? How do you not know what that is? Don't you're, you have boggle my fucking mind. Is this the era is this. This is like what we're trying to get like a nationwide federal law that it's everybody's equal under like the law and protected. The job

The Miz 27:08

really does is it offers explicit prohibition of discrimination against LGBT people like before. Yes, there is a precedent.

Jim 27:20

We're trying to get here, their congressional

Bobby 27:21

writing. They've been trying to pass this is Obama

Jim 27:25

there. I thought Obama interpreted like title

The Miz 27:29

up to interpretation. Now it's explained. Now

Bobby 27:32

we went to law pretty explicitly say XYZ.

Jim 27:35

Congress will be busy convicting Trump. Well, that was exactly

The Miz 27:38

what they said was there and that's the

Jim 27:40

problem is, I mean, right now we have zero people in the cabinet confirmed we have a senate trial underway on January 19. We're full fledge is we don't have time to pass the Equality Act and the first 100 days? Well,

The Miz 27:54

that's what they're saying. And I take a seat.

Bobby 27:57

Take a seat, you little queers stand that what the counter argument that I've been reading about is, it's really too bad that our government can be so single focus, like it should be able to, like multiple priorities are being elevated and progress is happening. So like, is that on purpose, though? Based on the constitution? Like our forefathers decided to do that on purpose, though? No, yeah. Because there's things that happen that they like, I don't know if they knew, but like, there's a process for everything. So you just can't rush things through, it has to be thought out. So they don't want to rush. Like,

The Miz 28:32

why can't these processes be happening simultaneously? Like, why can't there be like a subset of people who are really spearheading the impeachment? Why can't there be some subset of people who was actually heading the Equality Act? And then whatever else we're also faced with, you know, why do they have to be all in on one issue going forward? And then all issues take it back burner?

Bobby 28:55

Good question. It doesn't need to be. It doesn't. And does it make you feel like we're always just pushed to the side? Like, oh, the gays are fine, like, Fuck, I'm like, whatever. We're just, we're just something that they can just push to the side, they can just

Jim 29:09

play with it. And we're like, cool. So

The Miz 29:11

later act verb of marginalized communities. This is what this exactly means is that it's right, a marginalized group of people, you know, it's important until something's more important. That's what marginalize me.

Bobby 29:24

We got to get everybody else on their feet.

The Miz 29:26

Okay, I get it, there are pressing issues. But someone in some group of people needs to also view our rights as a pressing issue at some point and it's pressing and it's never gonna be that there's nothing else to deal with. So let's deal with the gays and the lesbians and the trans and everyone. So when are we gonna do that simultaneously with other issues like people just aren't raising it to the same isand as theirs?

Bobby 29:54

Honey, I hear you like I hear you. I see your eyes and A's over I'm sorry.

The Miz 30:02


Bobby 30:11

What is a demigod to?

The Miz 30:13

Me? I have no idea.

Bobby 30:19

I came out demisexual and they don't accept me and I'm like

Unknown Speaker 30:27

they don't know what it is.

Unknown Speaker 30:31

Because we don't know what it

The Miz 30:32

is at me as a white upper middle class gay. My plus sign covers me you know what I mean? know everything and I own it. I know I'm not well versed in every single difference. And it means every time the sign LGBTQIA d p

Bobby 31:00

plus lmnop. Okay, what

The Miz 31:03

are you gonna call me like not PC like, is that news? Like,

Bobby 31:07

fuck it? I don't. Obviously I'm not honestly I really don't.

The Miz 31:10

Since a ton of people think I'm

Bobby 31:14

in the capital like strong the capitals that politically correct.

Unknown Speaker 31:19

Exactly. I said

Bobby 31:20

there is no PC anymore. It's gone. PCs go.

The Miz 31:23

Correct is only a construct when there is a standard and there's no standard anymore.

Bobby 31:29

Are you no more you know, Jim. Thank you, Jim. Again, for

Jim 31:34

some more, you know, with Jim. I just wish you guys would ask the real question.

Unknown Speaker 31:40

I wish

Jim 31:42

that was a good question.

Bobby 31:44

Yeah. Like we're all doing work here. You didn't know I didn't

Jim 31:46

know that. We had to do a topic every week.

Bobby 31:49

Oh, you just want me to write the script every week.

Jim 31:52

week I ranted about a first and what a

Bobby 31:54

diva. Like this is what's gonna ruin our barstool fucking our box still contract has been ruined by Eugene be like, nobody told me that I had to actually like do something as well. Portnoy would fuck me. Well, portney would fuck you

Jim 32:09

or noise one by everybody? No. Boy. Oh, yeah.

Bobby 32:14

I can't think of his first name. And

Unknown Speaker 32:18


Bobby 32:20

Yeah. Dave. Look at him. He's from Boston. Yeah, he does. And I think he prays like a thick mushroom had.

Jim 32:29

Yeah, it's it's short. But like, sure. But yeah,

The Miz 32:33

he wrote me. He owns all of it. And he

Bobby 32:35

just started, he literally started this thing was like, let's be on ESPN. And then it became this whole huge empire. That's like XM Radio. It's like bigger than that. Like, and here we are. And here we are on the show. And he won't even fucking respond by email. So

The Miz 32:49

pick up our phone calls because it sounds like we're in a tunnel.

Jim 32:52

So I just thought of something about the Moreno.

The Miz 32:54

Okay, Jim. He just

Bobby 32:57

woke up. I think the alcohol

The Miz 32:59

jam, tell us what's happening.

Bobby 33:02

This is something deep, though. Oh, you're quitting gym?

If I can. If I'm allowed? Are you What do you want to quit? Well, if

Jim 33:10

you need me to. So this was something I was thinking about earlier, when I was kind of like, probably like, feeling worried. Feeling here? No, it wasn't actually this is something totally unprepared as usual. But I was downstairs reading. And I was like, What is reading? Oh, my God, Bobby is deepthroating. Pineapple lip gloss.

Bobby 33:33

If you have YouTube, you can watch me just totally suck this.

Jim 33:36

He sucked off a pineapple.

The Miz 33:38

So you were asking yourself what is reading? I was

Jim 33:40

like, What is reading? And what are words? And what is the meaning behind words and letters? Because you think about writing, it's just like, you take something and you make a shape, and then someone else recognizes that shape? Okay, what does it does that shape have a meaning? Or did we give the shape a meaning?

The Miz 33:58

Honestly, this is exactly what we were talking about last night with currency. And yeah, as long as you are willing to accept it, then you have a platform.

Bobby 34:06

Everything is a social period.

Jim 34:08

So I'm thinking about like archaeologists, they dig up some ancient texts or some stone tablet cuneiform something where it's like, what are the words on this text? And they have to interpret How often do they see something? How often do they see this symbol or that symbol? And what could it mean? And what were they trying to communicate? And how do they come up with something? Because if you don't have an A person who spoke that original language or wrote that allege original language, what does it mean? And I just think, to me, it's crazy. All how we have over 6000 languages and all these different writing systems. And we can communicate in all these different ways. And then you have someone who goes, Oh, I can't understand that. I would never be able to understand that. Because I have family members who hear Chinese being spoken on a movie or some other language on a movie like

Unknown Speaker 34:56

oh my God, we have to read the subtitles to read the

Jim 34:59

subtitles. Right now like,

Bobby 35:00

what the fuck? No, like the rap music in the hip hop,

Jim 35:04

whenever someone says like, I could never understand that like, you could though because another human child learned that language Think about that. a two year old learn Chinese and you never learn Chinese. Isn't it crazy to like all these words and languages? And what does this mean and how grammar and all of this, we've created an entire system just to communicate, like other animals or just like, let's eat Let's fuck, let's sleep. And we're like, I want to talk about the, the pronouns he she and they, let's go

The Miz 35:33

interpersonal, interpersonal. In typical human being fashion, we've completely over engineered the entire concept of a method of communication, right? Like we could have, we could have sat there and and like that meant something, you know, but we didn't we said we could all help each other

Bobby 35:51

to survive. We have

The Miz 35:53

to have these sophisticated languages. Yes. 10 says no one's fault but

Jim 36:00

no one and and and then the Oh my god, the grammar police are coming out. Like look at Bobby. I have to police him all the time. I'm the worst at writing.

Bobby 36:07

You can't even write once these guys start stepping up and start writing just like little bit of show nuts. There'll be better

Jim 36:13

than a bit of show nuts.

The Miz 36:14

Yes. Do you want us to handle that? Do you want us to get in trouble? Or do you want Yeah, just

Bobby 36:23

No, I don't write well, I could write it but I need you to like fit. I

Jim 36:26

read right.

Bobby 36:27

I need you to I don't know. Right. Right earlier. You're like I don't read right. That's getting

Unknown Speaker 36:33

I don't read right.

Bobby 36:34

I don't read right. Look at me. I'm a corporate Whoa, once I get Mr. Bae on. And so it's better. It's better get the fucking on the roller coaster, honey.

Jim 36:42

I mean, MS is in the corporate world. Tell the truth. Right.

Bobby 36:45

So my MS is not. He is Oh my God. He's deep in the corporate world.

The Miz 36:50

I am deep in the corporate world. I'll never leave frankly. But

Jim 36:55

oh my god. Now this is what I needed. But that's

The Miz 36:58

Yeah. You've known this this life

Jim 37:02


Bobby 37:04

I'm not giving up. I'm never.

Jim. Look at me. We can't. I know. That's you. I think I vaguely remember is that you said something about crying every night.

The Miz 37:20

When When did you vaguely remember? Yes, he

Bobby 37:23

did. He did say this, that you've cried every night in your apartment since you moved there. And I want to know why. What's going on?

Jim 37:32

Why are you there? What do you miss? Lower East Side?

Bobby 37:35

What do you what do you miss about the Hudson? The Hudson is

The Miz 37:39

the Hudson near me now.

Jim 37:42

What do you miss about the other rivers?

The Miz 37:44

The East River. Now I think that's me crying on a nightly basis happens whenever I go through a large change. So when I moved to New York, I happened when I quit my job and worked. We work I happened. When I went back to my current job I happened I just don't do well with large scale changes. I you know, I just don't because I get so comfortable in my current life. So whenever something's new, and I'm not used to the impacts of that I get really thrown for a loop. It just does not sit well with me. But it's interesting because I crave change all the time. Like I apply for jobs. I'm always looking for my next thing.

Jim 38:29

And there we go.

The Miz 38:30

But when it comes I'm like, wait, no, no, no, no, I'm gonna go back to what I'm used to write.

Bobby 38:37

So it's easier.

The Miz 38:39

I think it's I think it's a fad, some product of meat is not being grown up. Like I'm just want to have my little comfort zone all the time. And that's not how you need to live, but you need to be if you want change and you are seeking it out. You need to be okay with your boundaries being pushed and blurred a little bit. Not so deep.

Jim 39:00

But a lot of 23 year olds are going through this like they're 20 their hearts. Oh, well. No. Oh shit. When I went from my new job, I was like, pretty much every night for months was like, I feel like I need to cry and I

The Miz 39:17

want to die, which is a thing that's like you crave the change. You want to go for it and you go and it happens. And you're like, No, no, I hate it. It's gonna fall. Ms. This

Bobby 39:28

is what I was trying to ask you like four episodes ago? Yeah. How do you feel? And you're like, Oh, fuck, yeah, it's fine. But then I'm like, how do you really feel like how do you feel? You're upset. You miss your old place, but you you don't miss your old place. You miss your comfort zone? Yes. And then of course your key broke and then it was like this whole thing and then you're like, Oh my god, I'm spiraling down and you've got your super and then now you hate your superintendent. And now you just like fight him. And so now you're sitting in this apartment going I hate everybody here already. This electronic like door thing like I don't know.

The Miz 39:57

Yeah. And then today, the water Heat went out. And people were like running all around arms up in the air. Some girl knocked my door and she's like, is your heat element? Yes, obviously my fucking heat out the building T is out get away from my door. Get out of here. I don't want to talk to you

Jim 40:12

know mine works.

The Miz 40:15

Like No, you're the only one.

Jim 40:17

I'm the only one who has working heat

The Miz 40:19

just kill my face. I'm trying to I'm trying to just my own apartment. No one ever spoke. So I feel like

Bobby 40:26

God, Jim, tell us

Unknown Speaker 40:28

Jim, can you go off please?

Jim 40:31

Let me go give me something to be mad about. And I'll go off.

The Miz 40:34

You can show your face it needs to come from within. I

Bobby 40:37

think No, I want to know why the fuck you can't show your face.

Unknown Speaker 40:40

I want to know that too.

Bobby 40:41

That's not something I get mad about. You should know

The Miz 40:45

why you talk Jim.

Bobby 40:48

You're gonna have to show your face we're gonna go live now we're not. So he doesn't believe in that. Ms. I believe in it. No, you don't you don't even I believe in to see things as a faith.

Jim 40:58

I believe in a certain type of it. I feel like I believe I feel like you spend a lot of time believing.

Bobby 41:05

But if I don't have people on the same ship with me that believe then it's never gonna happen.

Jim 41:12

What do you believe will happen? Oh, this is so sad. I just need to know what you believe is happening know what's gonna happen.

The Miz 41:20

The question will try to see what you believe is happening. Yeah,

Bobby 41:24

what do you believe is happening?

Jim 41:26

I believe personally, America I personally believe that maps and such what and what believe in what this?

Bobby 41:35

What is the goal? What's your goal here?

Jim 41:38

I think that this can reach a lot of people and bring them into the fold of the gay community and such.

The Miz 41:49

And such an ad and as such, so in such a

Jim 41:52

way that you and you when Jim asked, like, what did you want for this podcast to start and you listen to Bobby's answers, they're not exactly groundbreaking. Like what are you? You're like, I just want to reach a bunch of people same. That's what I'm just trying to talk to people right but here's the thing I want to interview them at some

Bobby 42:09

point though.

Jim 42:10

I try to find out what that point is honey, cuz like

The Miz 42:16

when you die when you have an obituary, what is your legacy? is a being I kind of,

Jim 42:22

I don't really want an obituary.

The Miz 42:25

Okay, well, that's because you're gonna fucking get one obituary. I want to know that like, what I wanted to get out there got out there

Bobby 42:33

was true. The craziest

Jim 42:34

part is that doesn't matter. Because in like, 100 years, maybe less for most people. No one remembers you like that.

The Miz 42:40

We don't know anything about all you know, when you're on your deathbed. You're gonna have a lot of thoughts. I

Jim 42:45

will have thoughts but they won't matter. Hopefully. They won't

Unknown Speaker 42:48

matter. It's gonna be

Jim 42:51

fine. If everyone has last moments, or Jim.

The Miz 42:55

Do you want your last moment to be just like everyone else's or so you're okay with being

Jim 43:01

Hi, and I want I do want Adam in a morphine and then I'll be fine.

The Miz 43:05

I think that's where I can't I can't. Normal.

Bobby 43:09

I went, I did everything I could,

The Miz 43:11

like my mom was the guy raise a family we lived to get laid or

Jim 43:15